Ok, so the good news is, I've made it to Panama! The bad news is, that I can't really tell you how the trip there actually was because no words could ever describe it.
The feeling I had when the bay of Cartagena had finally disappeared, and all you could see around you was water, is probably the most amazing I've ever experienced.
We sailed for 48 hours, day and night, and the whole time I felt so unreal, so small and so FREE.
When we got to the San Blas Islands that feeling didn't really change much, because it was paradise. White sand, palm trees, the most beautiful colors and the most beautiful people- it all seemed so peaceful and just to good to be real.
We had a nice group of people on the boat, too, although it didn't really matter, as we were all just staring in awe and not talking much. Our captain, David, didn't talk that much either, but he was a great guy and an experienced sailor, and we felt very safe with him. That first day on the islands we actually got to do some "real sailing" when a pretty strong wind and rain came up and the boat was leaning at a 45 degree angle! So much fun!!
That night we also met another captain, Adrian from the Attila, and his friend Nestor, one of the indigenous Kuna people, and we ended up getting pretty drunk! After that things with David were easier, too, and he actually started talking to us- turned out that he's a pretty funny guy, as well!
The next day we spent on Nestors island, looking at the way people lived there, having lunch at the beach and playing with Nestors six (!) little girls. It was such a great community there, and again we felt like we were in paradise. After a beautiful sunset we all returned to our boat, the Tango, and had an even bigger party than the night before, including dancing on deck!
Unfortunately the party was over at about eleven o' clock, as everybody was very tired (and very drunk- we had started at noon!). Adrian and I were the only ones left, so I went with him on his boat where we talked almost until morning. At eight the Tango pulled up to our boat, as it was time to leave the islands and head for the mainland, but instead of going with her, I packed my things and put them on the Attila. And that was the moment I officially left the "gringo-trail", stopped being "just another traveller" and started living!!!
I had an amazing day with Adrian, just sailing around the islands with no particular goal, stopping every now and then to swim or to have a beer, and I never felt better in my life.
The next day he had to pick up two tourists, in order to take them to Cartagena, and together with them and two other random guys we had met we started another party on the boat. Because of this, none of us was really up for doing much sailing the next day (and I didn't want to leave, either!!), so we just stayed at the islands, relaxing for another day, cooking our own food and not partying quite as hard for a change!
The day after that, my seventh day at sea, it was finally time to say goodbye to the San Blas Islands, Attila and Adrian and to the things I had fallen so much in love with- the wind, the rocking of the boat at night, the feeling of freedom you have on your "own" boat, in short, THE SEA.
I took a small plane to Panama City and spent the last two days, trying to cope with culture shock and "land-sickness" (the damn ground just won't stop moving!). Funny enough, I met two people from the Tango here, one of the other captains, Kevin, is sleeping right next to me and I have the most beautiful bed in the whole house, from which I can see the sea... that all kind of helps to cope with the overwhelming feelings I have, because I think I've found what I set out to look for. The life I have experienced in that last week in the Caribbean is exactely the kind of life I want to live. On one hand, this is a very good feeling and I'm very happy, on the other hand though, I now have to figure out, how I am going to go about it to make the dream come true, and that is a very frightening thought at the moment.
It's a good thing I'm flying to India in four days, there I can hopefully sort some things out and find to myself again. Until then I just want to do nothing, see nothing and just "rest my weary head".
My love goes out to all of you, who understand or at least accept what I have just tried to tell you, you are the true friends.
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